With my suspicions (drug induced?) that some bacteria, perhaps from my treks to the emergency ward and my overnight sleep in ICU had mysteriously found its way into my blood stream I spent my days at home. Over the next weeks I managed to become well enough to gather blankets and pillows and sit in my glider chair and watch the goings on in my back yard.
Observing a garden come to life may not be exciting for some people but for me it is like having more and more friends popping over just to say hello. I hung out on my deck so long I watched the stalks grow taller and my ‘friends’ bloomed with vibrant colors of purple, white, yellow. Just for added fun, my Hosta leaves unfurled, opening like fans over all to bring shade roofs for tender shoots.
As I’ve mentioned in a previous writing, I didn’t have much to do but look about, pray, think and write in my journal.
I also began a new project of creating a Gratitude Journal because it was the right time to dig as deeply inside of myself to see what I could be thankful for.
May 20/16 – thankful my cat hovers close by – he’s never seen me hanging over a toilet before making noises. He sits and watches me. Comforting.
May 23/16 – thankful for my oasis of a deck, a rippling water fountain, sounds of cars in the distance, bird’s vocal vibrations, planes overhead and tree branches gently bobbing up and down which soothe my questions, fears, concerns – quiets my mind.
One Sunday morning in early June as I was nestled in my blanket cocoon a bible verse appeared on my phone from the radio station Praise 106.5.
From the new testament in Romans 12:12 I was instructed: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer and I wrote, nice to try and keep in mind.
June 5/16 – Grateful. Want to be…
Outside my fence, in the common area of my complex, Mom and Dad crow became my favorite entertainment day after day while they squawked and brought scraps of whatever it is that crows feed their babies. The little family were in a condemned tree and I like to think I saved their lives.
After a big wind and a large branch blew down the tree was deemed unsafe. On tree death day, the hackers came to cut it down. I purposely took a stroll and casually mentioned to a hacker that a bird’s nest was way at the top which I had observed from my back yard. That halted the rest of the tree coming down until late summer and when the birds would be gone.
Thus, for the next few weeks it became a daily ritual to visit with my bird pals.
In the morning, I’d make a cup of herbal tea though I preferred coffee and Thomas the Cat and I would head outdoors to hang out until my medication wore off or we were bored.
Later in the month, after one full glorious week of feeling good and health was returning, my throat again became raw, my voice disappeared and the painful pressure returned to my face. The wretched cough increased along with my despair. Within the week, it was necessary to begin a new round of antibiotics.
My regular journal entry at the beginning of July states, I cried yesterday. I cried today. My goal is to get through this day.
I read in my bible, Proverbs 19:16-29: Many are the plans in a ‘wo’/man’s heart but it is the Lords purpose that prevails. The journal answers back…What is your purpose in my life – I sure don’t get it.
A couple more weeks passed and I became well enough to go beyond my deck, take short walks, drive my car and venture off to various public locations where I tried to avoid any potential germs from stalking me.
I was returning to my healthy normal…or so I thought.