Tag Archives: Denial

Infectious Bacteria Stalkers-My Summer Saga

Four

After one more IV bag full of medication pumped into me I was released from the hospital early Saturday morning.  Though my throat ripping dry cough had now changed overnight to a looser one it still hurt to swallow.

My plan was to put the event of my sleepover in the ICU behind me and get on with my day as I filled a prescription for medication which would assist my airways to remain open.

The dry cough continued to change to a wet deep hack as the hours passed and I tried to minimize it as I packed up supplies fully intending to attend an all-day outside art event the next day.

My nose alternately plugged and then began releasing copious amounts of fluid and the barking coughs came in shorter intervals but lasting longer.  It reminded me of being in labor, the longer it went on, the harder it became to concentrate on anything else.

It was predicted to rain so my brain adjusted slightly in its denial mode to throw an umbrella into the supply bag.  Really.  I fantasized how I would draw, paint and create memories with my favorite  painter friend that I had convinced to join me in the art venture.

With the raspy voice I had remaining my hubby was informed that I was confused by my symptoms.  Again.  I’d had much confusion over the previous several days since the introduction of the prescription nasal spray and its negative effect my throat.

As hubby is prone to do, he acknowledged my pondering and concern then carried on with his own activities.  I recall his presence, at the computer, in and out of the house, hovering nearby yet staying in the safe zone of the marriage, not telling me I should consider cancelling my next days activities.

Questions and conversations whirled around in my stuffed head; was all the medication pumped into my system throughout my night in the emergency ward and then ICU making this congestion happen?

Did I pick up some bacteria and was it now being released in my bloodstream?

Was I getting a horrendous cold?  And, what did the specialist mean – Vocal Cord Dysfunction?

Sheesh.  I’d had enough family dysfunction over my lifetime, more did not need to be created for me to deal with.  And, why was the weather changing?  I had plans.

With my art bag all packed for the next day, I continued to layer on more clothing while my temperature rose and the chills prickled and settled over my shoulders, neck, arms and down my back.

Pain pills brought relief for a couple of hours at a time.  Swallowing was a necessary evil.

I surrendered and went to bed. There I stayed, coughed, retched, took pills, wept and blew my way through several boxes of tissues for the next five days.

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Infectious Bacteria Stalkers-My Summer Saga

Two

Wednesday May 11th and it’s like an average day, filled with events.

I fit the walk in clinic visit into the early part of the afternoon after a morning meeting at the recreation centre where I volunteer as a Rep for the 55+ pickleball group for inside play.

After I filled my prescription I went home and administered the first round of nasal sprays.

Within a couple hours, I noticed my throat was a bit raw.  As the afternoon passed into dinner hour and evening, my throat rawness increased and felt rather dry.  In the night when sleep would have been preferable I developed a dry cough and woke often.

Thursday morning came and with the routine of eating, vitamins and get out the door to a fitness class I also remembered to take the nasal spray.

As hours passed my voice began to shift to a lower huskier sound and the irritation increased in my throat.

After my class I rushed home to shower and get over to a physio appointment for my ongoing back issues, then off to the local courts where people were playing pickleball.  As one of the committee members for the Surrey Pickleball Club for outdoor play, I wanted to watch some of the players before a late afternoon meeting.

At the meeting I assured everyone I was not sick but curious about the sudden voice loss, raw throat and dry cough –  beginning to think there might be a connection to the nasal spray but busyness and denial pushed away the little inside voice yakking at me.

Later that evening I dutifully used the sprays as I tried to believe it would eventually work to unplug my ear. Even though it rarely happened I continued to stick my finger in my ear, wiggle it around and try to pop it open. I so hoped to enjoy my upcoming trip to Whistler Mountain with hubby in a few days and soaking in the baths in the Scandinavian Spa – a gift from our kids.

Friday mornings rush arrived and the cough intensity increased, my voice became not more than a rough squeak and the inside of my throat felt like it’d been scrubbed with sandpaper.

Confused and concerned about whether I was interpreting  my symptoms correctly I decided to try one more time with the nasal sprays – then headed off for the morning to support and watch some newer players of pickleball.

As the morning progressed my conversations were cut short with constant coughing and pain rising to the level of screaming at me to pay attention.

The amber light of recognition finally hit and turned red.  Something was wrong.  I decided – no more sprays.

In the early afternoon I arrived at my scheduled Mammogram appointment, explained to the staff in a whisper I was not sick and now believed the nasal sprays were the cause of a negative reaction.

After my appointment I drove home, picked up the sprays and went to the pharmacy to chat about my concerns.  Next stop was the same walk in clinic where I was promptly seen by a different doctor than two days previous.

No infection.  No voice.  No visible or puzzling bulge which had originally been seen.

No pain free moment.

No answers other than to stop the sprays and go to see my regular doctor and ask to see a specialist.  I had come full circle in about forty-eight hours.  My left ear was still plugged. My doctor was still on vacation and why I’d been in a walk in clinic to begin with.

I returned home and planned to wait for the effects of the sprays to subside.

My throat burned like red embers of a campfire and with each cough it felt like a poker jabbing, jabbing and stabbing at the fire.

And then, one cough began. And another, on top of that one – another.

I felt my throat close and I could not breathe.

 

 

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