Tag Archives: Cat

Infectious Bacteria Stalkers-My Summer Saga

Six

With my suspicions (drug induced?) that some bacteria, perhaps from my treks to the emergency ward and my overnight sleep in ICU had mysteriously found its way into my blood stream I spent my days at home.  Over the next weeks I managed to become well enough to gather blankets and pillows and sit in my glider chair and watch the goings on in my back yard.

Observing a garden come to life may not be exciting for some people but for me it is like having more and more friends popping over just to say hello.  I hung out on my deck so long  I watched the stalks grow taller and my ‘friends’ bloomed with vibrant colors of purple, white, yellow.   Just for added fun, my Hosta leaves unfurled, opening like fans over all to bring shade roofs for tender shoots.

As I’ve mentioned in a previous writing, I didn’t have much to do but look about, pray, think and write in my journal.

I also began a new project of creating a Gratitude Journal because it was the right time to dig as deeply inside of myself to see what I could be thankful for.

May 20/16 – thankful my cat hovers close by – he’s never seen me hanging over a toilet before making noises.  He sits and watches me.  Comforting.

May 23/16 – thankful for my oasis of a deck, a rippling water fountain, sounds of cars in the distance, bird’s vocal vibrations, planes overhead and tree branches gently bobbing up and down which soothe my questions, fears, concerns – quiets my mind.

One Sunday morning in early June as I was nestled in my blanket cocoon a bible verse appeared on my phone from the radio station Praise 106.5.

From the new testament in Romans 12:12 I was instructed: Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer and I wrote, nice to try and keep in mind.

June 5/16 – Grateful.  Want to be…

Outside my fence, in the common area of my complex, Mom and Dad crow became my favorite entertainment day after day while they squawked and brought scraps of whatever it is that crows feed their babies.  The little family were in a condemned tree and I like to think I saved their lives.

After a big wind and a large branch blew down the tree was deemed unsafe.  On tree death day, the hackers came to cut it down. I purposely took a stroll and casually mentioned to a hacker that a bird’s nest was way at the top which I had observed from my back yard.  That halted the rest of the tree coming down until late summer and when the birds would be gone.

Thus, for the next few weeks it became a daily ritual to visit with my bird pals.

In the morning, I’d make a cup of herbal tea though I preferred coffee and Thomas the Cat and I would head outdoors to hang out until my medication wore off or we were bored.

Later in the month, after one full glorious week of feeling good and health was returning, my throat again became raw, my voice disappeared and the painful pressure returned to my face. The wretched cough increased along with my despair. Within the week, it was necessary to begin a new round of antibiotics.

My regular journal entry at the beginning of July states, I cried yesterday.  I cried today.  My goal is to get through this day.

I read in my bible, Proverbs 19:16-29:  Many are the plans in a ‘wo’/man’s heart but it is the Lords purpose that prevails.  The journal answers back…What is your purpose in my life – I sure don’t get it.

A couple more weeks passed and I became well enough to go beyond my deck, take short walks, drive my car and venture off to various public locations where I tried to avoid any potential germs from stalking me.

I was returning to my healthy normal…or so I thought.

 

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Infectious Bacteria Stalkers-My Summer Saga

Five

On Saturday my body yielded to illness and to the medication which opened my airways, in order to prevent any potential closing of my vocal cords.

I curled into a ball of misery in my bed.

Not only was I going to miss my next day art event, I recognized the upcoming trip to Whistler Mountain in a few days with hubby wasn’t going to happen either.  We cancelled.

On the Friday previous I’d gone for my Mammogram.  On Monday the clinic called and I was asked to come in again the next morning for more tests.  That information shoots up the blood pressure a tad and wild visions of the worst case scenario occupied my thoughts while I coughed, tried to control a fever and continued to drip from both my nose and eyes.

Monday morning arrived and I dragged myself off to the appointment for more x-ray exposure, being pulled and stretched and poked, then lying around waiting and sent home to wait some more for a doctors report.

So, what does hubby decide to do when he realizes a 4 day vacation is ruined because his co-vacationer is  sick.  He goes back to work.

No-one wants to know the variation of conversations between us that were produced by that one decision.  It made absolute sense to him and months later it still does not to me.

He did text me on occasion and even called a few times during his next several work-days to see how I was doing.  I never replied. I think he may have even popped in to see me.  He says he did.

Perhaps I was too delusional with medication and fever and too busy emptying tissues boxes to notice what went on around me.  I was consumed with the time waiting for more pain pills for the fire in my throat and the developing tear in my chest each time I coughed.  And, with each cough my cheek bones felt as though they may explode.

On Thursday morning I arrived in my doc’s office who thought I may have Pneumonia and off I went for x-rays. More x-rays.

As I sat in my little cubicle in my blue or yellow gown I had difficulty breathing while trying to have polite and quiet coughs. With whispers of a voice I explained my situation to the curious lab person who had asked why I was there.

Using the walls as support I managed to do as I was instructed, walk to the test room, stand, sit, raise my arm over my head to hang onto a rail support while a picture was taken, release my grip and with some measure of dignity allow my arm to drop back to my side without fainting and then get back to my little room.

No one touched me or offered to help.

The lab person came by my space and I peeked out.  She stayed long enough to inform me I didn’t have Pneumonia but Sinusitis and I could go home.

Hanging my head for acting so pathetic I managed to dress myself, fully aware that my door was a curtain and that I was barely able to control my groans with every movement.

Thankful for walls and railings both inside the building and out I made my way to my car, drove the million miles home and slunk into my bed.

A couple of hours later my doc called  to let me know I have a sinus infection and Bronchitis and I need more pills.

Hubby has clued in that something might be amiss – the kitty litter box hasn’t been emptied, there are pill containers laying in various places in the house and for days there haven’t been any signs of meal preparation.  Plus, I’m just not getting out of bed.

Care giving skills are learned as glasses of water appear bedside and food bits that are not eaten come and go from the room.  Hubby and Thomas the Cat seem baffled by my continuous  weeping and grunts every time I move and when I manage to open my eyes, there they are perched at the foot of the bed…watching me.

I wonder if they will hire someone to come in and take care of them.

There isn’t much to do in the midst of pain and fever except to pray and I remembered to do that.  I’d committed to pray every day for my son who was in Regina for six months training to become an RCMP.  I threw in a few desperate comments for myself too that an instant healing would be greatly appreciated.

I also wrote lengthy ramblings in my journal – with all the pills going into me it is the only way I remembered my summer saga. A week later and two doc visits down, I find out a follow-up Mammogram will need to be done in six months so I promptly sigh and file the information for another time.

Still no voice, but also no fever so I believed some good health may eventually return.  If only I didn’t have to hug myself so tight every time a cough tore itself through my body.

Another week passes with yet another doc trip and it’s been discovered that on my second trip to the emergency ward, that I’ve not even mentioned, my latest x-rays from there reveal a fractured rib.  On that particular visit the friendly emergency doc, referring to my lack of voice and nothing about my ribs, that I should consider the idea of Acid Reflux, sending me home with yet another prescription.

However, in my hand I also held a paper for magic pills that fogged my brain and dulled my pain.

Ah, I understood now, why all these special pills were being taken with such regularity – my simple Sinusitis, turned nearly full face Sinus Infection and Bronchitis, had been topped off with coughing myself into fracturing my own ribs.

By then I suspected the same on the other side too but didn’t even bother to ask for another set of x-rays.

And, the plugged ear which began the whole adventure weeks before was still the same.

Please return for the continuation and hopefully the last two or maybe three entries of ‘my summer saga’

 

 

 

 

 

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Change. Takes Time.

This year is about CHANGE – my word for the year.  Indeed.

I’ve been accepting, adapting, aggravated and rebelling against it for nearly six months.  It is the point isn’t it?  Change…

Recovering from my car accident last November is a much longer process than anticipated and had no idea that I’d still be talking and writing about it seven months later.  However, here I am…the weekly routine of massage, physio, exercises, stretches, fitness classes and of course getting back to my beloved game of Pickleball.

The frustrating part of course is my pain level and how that gets tiring for the mind, and then there is my annoyance at my body for not getting over this quicker.  A high expectation of myself I suppose.

It’s all good for me, the routines and strengthening my body, but the actual scheduling and going to the array of appointments is frustrating at times.

What is happening on the inside is good too.  A needed diet change.  The recognition of what a procrastinator I can be regarding my writing and painting schedule and how to fix that.  The simple plan of scheduling into my day-timer like I do everything else is necessary.  Why not before now has much to do with putting it off and allowing other invasions of my time to take over.  Physio, massage, TV, husband, life, body tired, brain creativity zapped, fun elsewhere…

I’ve been standing on the sidelines watching this retired lady spin her wheels.  Make excuses.  Put self down and tell self what is the point anyway.  Well, self, move over – I know all about you, you big ole critic you.

Truth is, I’ve been having some writing fun posting a series of short entries on the word RETIREMENT and what it means to me, on my Facebook author page.

I’m also looking forward to a pubic reading with my writers group in July.

I painted a small picture in an evening with a group of ladies and it’s motivated me to get that 24 by 24 inch one started for my daughter.  I bought the canvas – that is one step.

And the sunshine, oh the sunshine!  My garden is busting out in blossom and if you can believe me, there is nothing better than sitting around – lounging –  in the midst of multitudes of colors – flowers everywhere, sipping a cup of morning coffee.

It is the best place for day-dreaming.

Even Thomas the cat loves it.

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How about you?  Did an unexpected life change force you to re-evaluate how you do daily life?  What are the highs and lows you are dealing with?

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Learning Curves and Nerves

Learning curves have been coming from several places this past month and they sure keep my mind alert, especially at night when I’d rather be sleeping.

One nice thing is when I roam the house at night my totally dedicated Thomas the Cat joins me.   If I give him some treats or soft yukky food from a can that he loves, he will then curl up near me and contentedly snore away the rest of the early morning hours while I write or read.

About those learning curves…dealing with health issues with a strange pain in my left lower abdomen and discovering the world of Diverticulosis and Diverticulitis and the difference between the two hasn’t been fun.  It adds up to nausea, pain and 10 days of two different antibiotics which in the end the same said pain is still lingering.  More waiting for tests and more waiting for results.

I was excited as a newly formed art group was being hatched and unfortunate me, I’ve now missed two opportunities to join in as I lay on my bed or couch or even as I sat out in my special spot in the back yard, moaning, whining, and wishing I could be anywhere but where I was.

My Happy Spot

My Happy Spot

In the month of feeling uncomfortable and then downright ill for ten plus days has taught me a few things and maybe even more than a few.  I am still processing what I’ve learned.

I have a lot of things on the go, me being one of them and I didn’t enjoy being sidelined.

I have writing projects in piles that I wonder what I’ll do with in the end (finishing is a good idea) and now that my ren0’d sun room is done, AKA the art/writing room and table where the cat perches I have no reason to avoid being in there, working.

I say working, though there currently isn’t any pay attached to what I’m doing.  I just have a need to ‘do it.’

As a new member of InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship  I am attending a writing conference near the end of September in Edmonton and  I’m preparing for that.  I entered a contest.  Following the guidelines for submission, fighting with my inner critic who kept telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t even bother, plus battling nausea and weakness from above health issues almost kept me from getting my little story sent off.

In the perseverance and determination to submit something, I’ve been reading  FellowScript InScribe Magazine and getting introduced to my new, as yet unmet friends in Inscribe via their writing, sharing their hearts and giving away their insight and knowledge.  It has helped me with the courage I needed to submit one itty-bitty-little story.

I currently write in two different journals each with its own focus.  One is called Your Ears Will Hear – A Journal for Listening to God by Steve and Evy Klassen along with other contributors.  (www.markcentre.org)

There is a short story on each page, with a question or two, a scripture reference and room for me to write my response.  I purchased this journal last year while attending a weekend away with the Prayer Team formed from Freedom Session of which I am a part of.  We pray for one another and during the mid to latter part of the nine month healing/discipleship/recovery program, am honored to pray as a smaller team of two or three women with others who request it.

My other journal is a mish-mash of thoughts, rants, prayers, potential stories, requests and worries.  It is on those pages I can pour out the jumble of words that need to be ‘said’.

All this reading, writing, pondering, praying and soon to be painting on canvas again takes time.

And what I’ve learned is this: I’m a ponderer-planner-procrasinator-organizer-avoider-then doer kind of individual.

A few months ago I posted a note to myself that I created on my desktop screen which says, “If only for today I do a little bit then for my tomorrows I will have done a lot.”

I like to be busy, but busy can be a cover up for hiding…hiding my words or hiding what may be a pull to listen to God’s leading. As this is a year determined by me to move forward  I’m paying attention to the inner call, to others wisdom and taking one step at a time.

It is fun, threatening, empowering and nerve wracking to take steps into the unknown.  I don’t like to make mistakes yet would be the first one to tell others to just try it, and so what if some mistakes are made – at least try.

What I’m wondering is, is this just the mind of creations in process, of constant percolating images and words swirling around and around until the mix is right and spills out onto a screen, a canvas or a piece of paper?

How do you other creatives out there process?

Whew, so many questions.  I’m going to go back outside to My Happy Spot and take a break.

 

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My Age is Showing

This week I tried to be brave. Actually I was brave. I said yes to myself and to the man who lives in the house with me, to learn more about my new phone and how to store my precious written words out there in cyberspace. It didn’t go well.

Take two almost 60 years old (a husband and wife) and put them in the same room, in the evening, after dinner – after each one has already had a long day of doing life, out there in people world and it doesn’t take too long to imagine what might happen.

This is what happened. (full story may appear here after I share it with my writers class next week)

After the step by step instructions of the computer got too bossy for me, I slowly slunk out of my nice comfy chair and ended up on the floor pleading with my man that, NO, I was not going to change my password because I loved my password. And how come I needed to do that anyway? I tell you, it wasn’t a fun rest of the evening. It is amazing how cool a room can become, even if the heat is turned up and the fireplace glowing with a cat sweetly curled up in front of it, ignoring us. Imagine that…

I’d take a picture and post it and do show and tell, but then I’d have to first get it into the computer, then shrink and fit it to size, then upload or download or insert or…well, it just isn’t happening today.

I have other more important details to concern myself with – one being the fact that a large number birthday is approaching. It’s odd how significant numbers become. When I turned 30 life was exciting, children were being born and none of the above consumed my evenings.

When I arrived to age 40 I tried to ignore it and kept on being a busy mom, with kids approaching the teen stage and days seemed to move faster than before.

When age 50 came I went into shock, then had a girl only party and got on with life. By the time I was 55 I accepted the fact that I was in my 50’s. Suddenly 5 more years have passed and I’m an empty-nester who is approaching the senior years. Really!

So, instead of the focus being on babies, toddlers, adolescents, teens, young adults, careers (mine, kids, husband) I’ve graduated to computers, instagrams, i phones, clouds and what seems like a zillion other terms that are now taking up space left by empty-nesting but not empty braining. Though I wonder…

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