Tag Archives: life

Transitions: Painting and Life

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Do you ever look at life – your own life and wish one thing could stay exactly as it is while longing to change one or more areas, again either of self or others or even situations.  I do.

In the above painting I really liked the sky and how the light shimmered over the hills and sandy beach.

However the sand was too dark and the rock cliff in the foreground not defined enough for my liking so I began to mess with it.  I wanted to get rid of all the green that injected itself into the sea.  It wasn’t there before and I wondered how I missed it – though I’d put it there.

 

I have a lot of life to look back on from where I am today, facing life as a senior and in the last five years much self reflection has taken place.  It puts me right at today.

When my house is clean, the sun is shining and all is well in my relationships I believe life just couldn’t get any better.  I live by the ocean and can soak up the sound of bubbling ripples  whenever I want.  My adult children live close enough to visit regularly.  I’m not working to earn a living any more – hubby is the one who goes off each day and will continue that for a few more years.  Much of time is my own – an enviable state for many people.

Yet on a dark and dismal day as the drops run down the window my tears sometimes match the flow. When a relationship conversation turns in a direction I didn’t anticipate I am left with a crumpled pile of emotions sitting in my lap and I can feel paralyzed.

I try to balance the dark days and bask in the light days – but sometimes I am simply not in control.  Then, I must look in, look out, seek help – let go.  Move forward.

2016-02-09 16.10.42 HDR

 

I lost some of the lightness in the sky and the plan is to find it again but it will  take work.

My cliffs are taking shape, the green sea is not so stormy any longer and the sand is slowly shifting to a softer glow. It is a work in progress.  Like me.  And, perhaps you.

 

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Filed under Art/Draw/Paint/Create, Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes

Life and Death and Respect

I’ve shared in some life altering experiences in the past several months that have both closed me up inside so I can reflect and opened me up to live life fully so I don’t miss the purpose of my being here.  I want to tell the whole story yet feel resistant so others are protected because it isn’t just about me.

I now understand the conflict within when writing memoir, the unwillingness to expose, hurt or make public that which may cause problems relationally while at the same time story within keeps banging the ‘walls’ to come out.

Thus, I have not been writing.  I’ve been walking, running, playing Pickleball and sitting staring into space. Even my journal hasn’t seen much of me.  A big rolling ball of words have been stuck inside waiting for the right moment to spit out into story form.  For now it is titles and opening lines.

A friends elderly father passed away and I was honored to be a small part of this journey for his last month at home.  A daughters love and respect for her father is forever imprinted on my heart.

An extended family member – a young man, died suddenly. His funeral was both terribly sad yet filled with life, stories of his life and what God can do with it, if one lets that happen.

On a gym floor, a man drops with a heart attack and I am there. The staff put their training to action. I see, hear, react and act. I become part of a team and watch a wonder woman give life giving support. I pray.

The AED machine is used. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automated_external_defibrillator)

Medical help arrives.  Today this man lives.

I have three and a half hours of training, then three days of work for Elections BC, in care homes which gives its residents the right to vote. For many this is the end of life and I am left confused with the blur of walkers, wheelchairs, happy or grumpy greetings and in some cases questions of ‘why am I here?’

Indeed…this is my question too.    Life and death and death and life – speaking to me.

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Filed under Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes