Category Archives: Art/Draw/Paint/Create

Lead so I can Follow

The two paintings below are the same one but they could be two separate ones.  On the left is like daytime and the other could be evening.  It is just what happened as I began laying down paint. They are also about one week apart.

Still on my Arizona holiday in the sunshine and enjoying the bright skies my mood may have been reflected in my work. (because of several wind storms and plenty of rain)

One picture is light, airy, pretty.  The other is dark, brooding, deep with a bit of light peeking through the clouds.

Perhaps I painted on one of those dreary days.

Perhaps it reflected my mood but I can’t really say – it simply became what it was.

Then, I didn’t paint for two months.

The Arizona holiday ended late November, the painting packed away and while not forgotten about, was put aside.

 

Then came January and the painting created something entirely different.  I had to go where it led.

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I’ve become curious about how much my environment, sunshine, rain, location and seasons of the year dictate my performance, energy, creativity and even the direction of my life.

It used to be that when I wrote, I wrote.  I didn’t paint.  When I painted, I painted. I didn’t write.  Now I have learned to do a little of both.  I’m discovering how to blend the two.

 

Though I loved my babies and enjoyed their development years I had times I believed nursing them was going to be my new normal – forever, or that they’d be toddlers for all time.  I wondered if the teen years would ever end.  They did.  Now, I have adult children with lives of their own – like the average person I wonder where the time has gone.

As I ponder now – what was the rush and where was I in such a hurry to get to anyway.

I wondered how to stop the days from moving so quickly, how  to slow down the wrinkles and grey hair and how to anticipate the senior years.

Well, they are here…at my local recreation centre where I obsessively play Pickleball, the age of 55 is considered the senior years.

I’m no longer in such a hurry.

There are so  many people who are lonely, angry, hurt, lost, who race through days, who’ve been ill, have cancer, have died…

I struggled my own way through a vast desert of years of doubt and life choices, what I’d done with my adult life and with some regrets until I worked it through to a point of reconciliation with myself, God and others.

I’m allowing the present and future lead me to new places and though I’m not in a hurry, I have some things to do.

At my core is the belief I am being led by God – if I’m listening and following.  Far from perfect I’m taking faith steps forward, hesitatingly at times but at least I’m moving.

Where once I was too afraid to try, here I am writing and painting, taking the time and learning how, growing, being stretched, falling down and getting up again.  It’s the same in my friendships, in my marriage, in my fun and play and where I can be of service to others.

Even in the whispers of perfectionism and doubt.

Join me in my quest to follow the painting to completion.

 

 

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Filed under Art/Draw/Paint/Create, Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes

One Step at a Time

Laying down the basics and keeping things simple. That is an easy model for me to begin my painting and then allow what transpires to take me where it wants to go.  I follow.

This process is helpful because when things go awry and get complicated my creativity is blocked and I believe I am stuck and unable to move forward.

I find it’s rather like life, mine anyway.   I like to lead a  simple life but at times it can get complicated or I  can run ahead of myself. It’s then I need to get back to the process of step by step even if I have to create it.

One of the items I brought along in my paint pack on my Arizona holiday were several strips of colored rice paper.

An idea I’ve used before and decided to try again thanks to an artist who taught me is to apply various products to the painting like string, sand, leaves, buttons, lace, etc – anything to give a lift, depth, dimension and excitement.

In a couple of my past favorite paintings I did use sand and bits of bark for logs for a particular beach scene – I loved those finished pieces and so did others because they bought them.

It’s rather an honor knowing someone liked the process I went through, learning, being challenged, growing, changing then ending up with a satisfactory and pleasing finish.

It’s like this in friendships, love, work and play, giving and serving others.  If I remain open to be taught, to grow, change and flex  perhaps in the end of days I’d like to think it will be a satisfactory and pleasing finish.

In this part of the picture below I began sticking wet rice paper onto the canvas and scrunching it to shape the hills and mountains in the background and rocks in the foreground.  In letting the shapes direct me I followed the shoreline with my fingers.

In some spots I had to pick off paper and in others add more to make the dips, shapes and jagged rocks appear or disappear.

Reflection keeps popping up as I compare the shaping of my life to the shaping of a painting.

How it will be in the end is yet to be discovered.

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A Blank Canvas

Late fall 2015.  Casa Grande, (Palm Creek) Arizona.

A holiday home for a month – a blank canvas and high hopes.

I took paints, containers, a canvas and an easel and set them on display on the table out on the patio.

For days I walked by the canvas as I went to and from the hot-tub, riding bike, playing a few games of pickleball or going for a walk.

Then I needed pain pills, an ice pack, a heat pack, stretches and rest.

I looked at the canvas with longing while I procrastinated telling myself I was just getting ready.  It was true – I simply needed to get into the space where I could let my hand, pencil and creativity connect with one another and then touch the canvas.

Rather like an exercise plan or a change to healthier eating or digging through a very cluttered closet.  There comes a moment, that space in time when one just knows to go ahead and take a step forward.

One day I did pick up my pencil.  I needed some stress relief and it felt good.  So much had been going on in the background of my mind filling up all the creative spaces and I first had to let the worry and concern leak out and give my head some room.

Just before leaving for our holiday an unwanted and unexpected stressful situation arose with a group I was involved in and potential loss of a friendship and it weighed heavily on my heart.

Driving had become so stressful since my car accident a year ago, with me always sighing in relief to get out of the car, either to stop driving or to ease the constant pinch in my back. It’s a long drive from BC, Canada to Arizona and  I drove because that is fair in a shared relationship but I didn’t exactly do my ‘fair share’.

This was my first large painting I was to try in that space of a year as I’d been focused on other areas of life like physio, massage, doctor appointments, fitness classes and trying to get myself back to what I believed my normal should be.

Once I began drawing my mind focused and shapes emerged on the canvas.  A fresh sense of excitement began to build and if not daily, then every other day I found myself slipping out the patio door and adding a touch of paint at various points on the canvas.

This stepping into my ‘painterly world’ continued for the next several weeks.

To me, this meant I was returning to myself and some deep part of me was healing.

Join me in future posts as I continue to share journal entries, slather on sunscreen for the outdoor daytime fun and while I slather paint on canvas to release the inner drive to feel full color again.

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Learning Curves and Nerves

Learning curves have been coming from several places this past month and they sure keep my mind alert, especially at night when I’d rather be sleeping.

One nice thing is when I roam the house at night my totally dedicated Thomas the Cat joins me.   If I give him some treats or soft yukky food from a can that he loves, he will then curl up near me and contentedly snore away the rest of the early morning hours while I write or read.

About those learning curves…dealing with health issues with a strange pain in my left lower abdomen and discovering the world of Diverticulosis and Diverticulitis and the difference between the two hasn’t been fun.  It adds up to nausea, pain and 10 days of two different antibiotics which in the end the same said pain is still lingering.  More waiting for tests and more waiting for results.

I was excited as a newly formed art group was being hatched and unfortunate me, I’ve now missed two opportunities to join in as I lay on my bed or couch or even as I sat out in my special spot in the back yard, moaning, whining, and wishing I could be anywhere but where I was.

My Happy Spot

My Happy Spot

In the month of feeling uncomfortable and then downright ill for ten plus days has taught me a few things and maybe even more than a few.  I am still processing what I’ve learned.

I have a lot of things on the go, me being one of them and I didn’t enjoy being sidelined.

I have writing projects in piles that I wonder what I’ll do with in the end (finishing is a good idea) and now that my ren0’d sun room is done, AKA the art/writing room and table where the cat perches I have no reason to avoid being in there, working.

I say working, though there currently isn’t any pay attached to what I’m doing.  I just have a need to ‘do it.’

As a new member of InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship  I am attending a writing conference near the end of September in Edmonton and  I’m preparing for that.  I entered a contest.  Following the guidelines for submission, fighting with my inner critic who kept telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t even bother, plus battling nausea and weakness from above health issues almost kept me from getting my little story sent off.

In the perseverance and determination to submit something, I’ve been reading  FellowScript InScribe Magazine and getting introduced to my new, as yet unmet friends in Inscribe via their writing, sharing their hearts and giving away their insight and knowledge.  It has helped me with the courage I needed to submit one itty-bitty-little story.

I currently write in two different journals each with its own focus.  One is called Your Ears Will Hear – A Journal for Listening to God by Steve and Evy Klassen along with other contributors.  (www.markcentre.org)

There is a short story on each page, with a question or two, a scripture reference and room for me to write my response.  I purchased this journal last year while attending a weekend away with the Prayer Team formed from Freedom Session of which I am a part of.  We pray for one another and during the mid to latter part of the nine month healing/discipleship/recovery program, am honored to pray as a smaller team of two or three women with others who request it.

My other journal is a mish-mash of thoughts, rants, prayers, potential stories, requests and worries.  It is on those pages I can pour out the jumble of words that need to be ‘said’.

All this reading, writing, pondering, praying and soon to be painting on canvas again takes time.

And what I’ve learned is this: I’m a ponderer-planner-procrasinator-organizer-avoider-then doer kind of individual.

A few months ago I posted a note to myself that I created on my desktop screen which says, “If only for today I do a little bit then for my tomorrows I will have done a lot.”

I like to be busy, but busy can be a cover up for hiding…hiding my words or hiding what may be a pull to listen to God’s leading. As this is a year determined by me to move forward  I’m paying attention to the inner call, to others wisdom and taking one step at a time.

It is fun, threatening, empowering and nerve wracking to take steps into the unknown.  I don’t like to make mistakes yet would be the first one to tell others to just try it, and so what if some mistakes are made – at least try.

What I’m wondering is, is this just the mind of creations in process, of constant percolating images and words swirling around and around until the mix is right and spills out onto a screen, a canvas or a piece of paper?

How do you other creatives out there process?

Whew, so many questions.  I’m going to go back outside to My Happy Spot and take a break.

 

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Filed under A Cat's Life, Art/Draw/Paint/Create, Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes