Category Archives: A Cat’s Life

Learning Curves and Nerves

Learning curves have been coming from several places this past month and they sure keep my mind alert, especially at night when I’d rather be sleeping.

One nice thing is when I roam the house at night my totally dedicated Thomas the Cat joins me.   If I give him some treats or soft yukky food from a can that he loves, he will then curl up near me and contentedly snore away the rest of the early morning hours while I write or read.

About those learning curves…dealing with health issues with a strange pain in my left lower abdomen and discovering the world of Diverticulosis and Diverticulitis and the difference between the two hasn’t been fun.  It adds up to nausea, pain and 10 days of two different antibiotics which in the end the same said pain is still lingering.  More waiting for tests and more waiting for results.

I was excited as a newly formed art group was being hatched and unfortunate me, I’ve now missed two opportunities to join in as I lay on my bed or couch or even as I sat out in my special spot in the back yard, moaning, whining, and wishing I could be anywhere but where I was.

My Happy Spot

My Happy Spot

In the month of feeling uncomfortable and then downright ill for ten plus days has taught me a few things and maybe even more than a few.  I am still processing what I’ve learned.

I have a lot of things on the go, me being one of them and I didn’t enjoy being sidelined.

I have writing projects in piles that I wonder what I’ll do with in the end (finishing is a good idea) and now that my ren0’d sun room is done, AKA the art/writing room and table where the cat perches I have no reason to avoid being in there, working.

I say working, though there currently isn’t any pay attached to what I’m doing.  I just have a need to ‘do it.’

As a new member of InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship  I am attending a writing conference near the end of September in Edmonton and  I’m preparing for that.  I entered a contest.  Following the guidelines for submission, fighting with my inner critic who kept telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t even bother, plus battling nausea and weakness from above health issues almost kept me from getting my little story sent off.

In the perseverance and determination to submit something, I’ve been reading  FellowScript InScribe Magazine and getting introduced to my new, as yet unmet friends in Inscribe via their writing, sharing their hearts and giving away their insight and knowledge.  It has helped me with the courage I needed to submit one itty-bitty-little story.

I currently write in two different journals each with its own focus.  One is called Your Ears Will Hear – A Journal for Listening to God by Steve and Evy Klassen along with other contributors.  (www.markcentre.org)

There is a short story on each page, with a question or two, a scripture reference and room for me to write my response.  I purchased this journal last year while attending a weekend away with the Prayer Team formed from Freedom Session of which I am a part of.  We pray for one another and during the mid to latter part of the nine month healing/discipleship/recovery program, am honored to pray as a smaller team of two or three women with others who request it.

My other journal is a mish-mash of thoughts, rants, prayers, potential stories, requests and worries.  It is on those pages I can pour out the jumble of words that need to be ‘said’.

All this reading, writing, pondering, praying and soon to be painting on canvas again takes time.

And what I’ve learned is this: I’m a ponderer-planner-procrasinator-organizer-avoider-then doer kind of individual.

A few months ago I posted a note to myself that I created on my desktop screen which says, “If only for today I do a little bit then for my tomorrows I will have done a lot.”

I like to be busy, but busy can be a cover up for hiding…hiding my words or hiding what may be a pull to listen to God’s leading. As this is a year determined by me to move forward  I’m paying attention to the inner call, to others wisdom and taking one step at a time.

It is fun, threatening, empowering and nerve wracking to take steps into the unknown.  I don’t like to make mistakes yet would be the first one to tell others to just try it, and so what if some mistakes are made – at least try.

What I’m wondering is, is this just the mind of creations in process, of constant percolating images and words swirling around and around until the mix is right and spills out onto a screen, a canvas or a piece of paper?

How do you other creatives out there process?

Whew, so many questions.  I’m going to go back outside to My Happy Spot and take a break.

 

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Filed under A Cat's Life, Art/Draw/Paint/Create, Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes

My Age is Showing

This week I tried to be brave. Actually I was brave. I said yes to myself and to the man who lives in the house with me, to learn more about my new phone and how to store my precious written words out there in cyberspace. It didn’t go well.

Take two almost 60 years old (a husband and wife) and put them in the same room, in the evening, after dinner – after each one has already had a long day of doing life, out there in people world and it doesn’t take too long to imagine what might happen.

This is what happened. (full story may appear here after I share it with my writers class next week)

After the step by step instructions of the computer got too bossy for me, I slowly slunk out of my nice comfy chair and ended up on the floor pleading with my man that, NO, I was not going to change my password because I loved my password. And how come I needed to do that anyway? I tell you, it wasn’t a fun rest of the evening. It is amazing how cool a room can become, even if the heat is turned up and the fireplace glowing with a cat sweetly curled up in front of it, ignoring us. Imagine that…

I’d take a picture and post it and do show and tell, but then I’d have to first get it into the computer, then shrink and fit it to size, then upload or download or insert or…well, it just isn’t happening today.

I have other more important details to concern myself with – one being the fact that a large number birthday is approaching. It’s odd how significant numbers become. When I turned 30 life was exciting, children were being born and none of the above consumed my evenings.

When I arrived to age 40 I tried to ignore it and kept on being a busy mom, with kids approaching the teen stage and days seemed to move faster than before.

When age 50 came I went into shock, then had a girl only party and got on with life. By the time I was 55 I accepted the fact that I was in my 50’s. Suddenly 5 more years have passed and I’m an empty-nester who is approaching the senior years. Really!

So, instead of the focus being on babies, toddlers, adolescents, teens, young adults, careers (mine, kids, husband) I’ve graduated to computers, instagrams, i phones, clouds and what seems like a zillion other terms that are now taking up space left by empty-nesting but not empty braining. Though I wonder…

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Thomas The Cat

Tabby Cat

Thomas the Cat

Picture this: Fall day, fireplace on, cat curled up on floor by the fire snoozing and me curled up in a chair across from him writing with laptop on lap, of course.   Thomas has been my companion for nearly 2 years and he has given me a reason to extend myself to another, to love, feed, nurture and give him a home.  He was rescued from the SPCA who had taken him in after being abandoned by his owner – him, his mate and a litter of babies.  I could only take him.

Some days I worry about him.  I spend equal amounts of time thinking about him, having moved him into that space in my brain, after husband and kids.  I think he needs a companion besides me but where I live, this is not allowed so I buy him toys, things that wiggle, flash lights and roll around and rattle.

I am concerned he may be depressed.  Can cats become depressed?  I sit with him, cuddle, pet, brush and I throw his favorite ratty mouse over and over and he fetches, he really does, then drops it at my feet to throw it again. He sleeps at the foot of my bed, on the bed. He sleeps a lot.

He loves me and I like that.  I like being needed…comes from training I suppose, being so needed when raising little children and it is hard to let go of, so this is my thinking, God created cats for empty-nesting mothers.

Thomas will sit for a treat, he will sit up with paws in the air, and he follows me from room to room just to see what I’m doing.  That is love…or perhaps he just thinks I might also have treats in those rooms too.

But when he lays on the floor, with head on paw and just looks at me as I wander back and forth, sighs and then looks away, that is when I worry and think he is depressed.  But then, I think – I think too much.

I had hoped for less cleaning of the house once the kids left but I’ve discovered this cat sheds a lot of his presence all over the house and it seems I am required to dust and vacuum more than this empty-nester wants.  I even wipe his nose drippings off the windows, more than when I had little kids doing similar face bumps against the glass.

However, having Thomas greet me at the door, with his smile and hello, who runs to his scratching post to work out the kinks he created while sleeping away his time while I was gone, then speak in cat language until I give him a treat or a meal and give me thanks by licking my toes, or walking across the laptop to let me know he’d like to snuggle is so worth a few thousand cat hairs drifting around the house.

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Filed under A Cat's Life