Category Archives: Writer Writes

Thanksgiving Memoir

In honor of American Thanksgiving though I am Canadian and live in Canada and because I will be having a dinner served to me while on vacation in Arizona I thought it was the perfect opportunity to share a story from several years ago…

 

At my house the experience of Thanksgiving Dinner is similar to an approaching hurricane ending with the aftermath of destruction – my imagined comparison, seeing as I’ve never really experienced a real hurricane.

It begins with the slow build up of whirlwind activity, the planning, writing lists, shopping, then shopping some more with frenzy and panic building as the day comes closer.  There are recipes to prepare and store away, either in cupboards, fridge or freezer.

The decision of what kind of turkey to buy rests with me – should it be one shot full of grease or a fresh one from the local store which would be faster and easier for me.  Perhaps I ought to go all out and buy an organic recently killed beast from the farm too many miles away.

As the hurricane air stirs up I forget all about the turkey decision and send the hubby to buy it.  As the mounting tension rises I think about who will attend dinner, who will not and how many to invite.  Pondering how long one should wait to call I also consider how long they will stay and where I will put everyone in our small dining area.

The day arrives, the people come, the noise increases and the children run and screech.  The house is filled with the roar and the pace in the kitchen picks up as food flies from storage containers to the stove, from pot to bowl and the countertops disappear under the mountain of colorful platters.

The crowd plays musical chairs while one child wants to be near another and I quickly arrange a separation between two young adult siblings who chose this day to have a fight.

The legs of the table groan under stacks of mashed potatoes, a pile of healthy vegetables several children will not touch, a dead bird full of bread and twenty elbows plopped on top.

There are not really any full conversations to be heard, only sounds of whish, plunk, “pass the…” “thanks, “more please,” cranberry,” “mm mm good,” and “what, no more gravy” as the serving bowls and platters whisk by.

Then all becomes quiet except for the sounds of forks scraping plates, of slurp, munch and crunch as the food disappears down the human vacuums.

Once done eating, all the participants leave the table except one.  Mom.  Me.  I push my plate out of the way and lay my head on the table and out of one eye I survey the latest storm.

Instead of mountains of food it is now foothills of slop, with dark gravy stains on the white cloth, cranberry on the chairs, cloth napkins tossed into the empty stuffing bowl and the high chair needing to be hosed down.

I let out a long slow breath.

Lifting my head I take my napkin and fold it into a square then lay it on the table claiming it as my spot – the only clean one.  I’ll come back here later with a cup of coffee and a piece of pie.

I tune into the sounds around me and realize I have to go and stop the streams of rippled white goo spraying across the kitchen from an over enthused teenager who is using our canned whipped cream to stir up some excitement from a sibling.

With another long sigh, I recognize I wouldn’t have it any other way.

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Life Lessons, Writer Writes

Change. Takes Time.

This year is about CHANGE – my word for the year.  Indeed.

I’ve been accepting, adapting, aggravated and rebelling against it for nearly six months.  It is the point isn’t it?  Change…

Recovering from my car accident last November is a much longer process than anticipated and had no idea that I’d still be talking and writing about it seven months later.  However, here I am…the weekly routine of massage, physio, exercises, stretches, fitness classes and of course getting back to my beloved game of Pickleball.

The frustrating part of course is my pain level and how that gets tiring for the mind, and then there is my annoyance at my body for not getting over this quicker.  A high expectation of myself I suppose.

It’s all good for me, the routines and strengthening my body, but the actual scheduling and going to the array of appointments is frustrating at times.

What is happening on the inside is good too.  A needed diet change.  The recognition of what a procrastinator I can be regarding my writing and painting schedule and how to fix that.  The simple plan of scheduling into my day-timer like I do everything else is necessary.  Why not before now has much to do with putting it off and allowing other invasions of my time to take over.  Physio, massage, TV, husband, life, body tired, brain creativity zapped, fun elsewhere…

I’ve been standing on the sidelines watching this retired lady spin her wheels.  Make excuses.  Put self down and tell self what is the point anyway.  Well, self, move over – I know all about you, you big ole critic you.

Truth is, I’ve been having some writing fun posting a series of short entries on the word RETIREMENT and what it means to me, on my Facebook author page.

I’m also looking forward to a pubic reading with my writers group in July.

I painted a small picture in an evening with a group of ladies and it’s motivated me to get that 24 by 24 inch one started for my daughter.  I bought the canvas – that is one step.

And the sunshine, oh the sunshine!  My garden is busting out in blossom and if you can believe me, there is nothing better than sitting around – lounging –  in the midst of multitudes of colors – flowers everywhere, sipping a cup of morning coffee.

It is the best place for day-dreaming.

Even Thomas the cat loves it.

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How about you?  Did an unexpected life change force you to re-evaluate how you do daily life?  What are the highs and lows you are dealing with?

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Filed under A Cat's Life, Life Lessons, Writer Writes

Time on my Hands

There’s been a word chasing me.

It’s January and time to choose a word for the year  which is a great idea and the third time I’ve done it.

I rather like being able to focus on a word and the way it shapes the year ahead.

My word has been preparing me, through my own journal writing though I didn’t realize it at the time.  Last September I began a study from the book of Proverbs and my focus was on health and how I want to focus on it as I move into my senior years.

I asked myself a question, “What brings health to my body and nourishment to my bones?”

In my post menopausal years I’d think its exercise, good nutrition, clean air and vitamins and I’d likely be right.

However, as a believer, there is more for me ‘to do’ …I am to trust the Lord with all my heart and not lean on my own understanding.  That tells me to stop trying to figure out all the details of my life as I am prone to do.   Acknowledge God and he will make my paths straight – plural, ‘paths’ –  more than one path.  That’s exciting.  I get variety.

More reading tells me not to be wise just by my own eyes.  This means I need more than just my own counsel.  I am to fear the Lord and shun evil – stay away from it.

I read, took my notes and acknowledged the gleaned nuggets of truth.

Then I put the journal away and kept on with my daily life.

CHANGE

I was “motoring” along just fine, by attending a fitness class twice per week, played pickleball that much or more, took an occasional beach walk  or a tour around my neighborhood and did a little writing.  I was even working on a painting project – of the canvas type, not a house renovation.

Facilitating a group at Freedom Session, a healing/recovery/discipleship program, was once again part of a weekly commitment – helping myself and helping others.

An upcoming vacation for February 2015 was in the planning stage.  I often visualized the trek to join some snowbird friends  in the south to go on walks/hikes, golf, play pickleball, swim, soak in a hot tub and repeat often.

The holiday was a BIG deal and I was looking forward to it.

 

Toward the end of November I was involved in an accident.

Three vehicles – bang!

 

Here is where the word CHANGE comes into my new year.  Am I willing to accept the change – like physiotherapy twice per week, at least once per week massage, twenty minute walks rather than my usual hour, twice per day neck exercises and stretches instead of heading off to play pickleball for two hours?   Ice?   Heat?   Rest?    …and this is what I get to repeat.

Am I willing to allow the tears of frustration to come out and then just get on with doing what is before me – put myself in the drivers seat of a car and go – be content with a good book to read instead of going to the gym – accept I am not going on my long awaited vacation?

How am I doing?

I am healing.  I’m aware things could have been much worse.  I’ve had to check my attitude, fears and self-pity. I’ve gone back to my September journal writing with fresh awareness seeking to make wise decisions, to trust beyond myself and accept I can’t figure out all the details of my current life.

Now it’s time to actively work with the change which is happening whether I willingly participate or not.  I choose to participate willingly.

For my writers group I wrote about how I’ve been affected regarding the accident and I believe the process assisted me to get unstuck and here I am, ready to believe good change is possible and is coming.

In future posts I hope to continue to share how I:

adapt to change,

accept change,

understand change,

can create change,

challenge change,

can be the change.

I have no idea what all this means but I’m getting ready – after all I do have some extra time on my hands.

 

How about you?  Is there some part of life that is asking you to change?  How are you doing?

 

 

 

 

 

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Filed under Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes

Learning Curves and Nerves

Learning curves have been coming from several places this past month and they sure keep my mind alert, especially at night when I’d rather be sleeping.

One nice thing is when I roam the house at night my totally dedicated Thomas the Cat joins me.   If I give him some treats or soft yukky food from a can that he loves, he will then curl up near me and contentedly snore away the rest of the early morning hours while I write or read.

About those learning curves…dealing with health issues with a strange pain in my left lower abdomen and discovering the world of Diverticulosis and Diverticulitis and the difference between the two hasn’t been fun.  It adds up to nausea, pain and 10 days of two different antibiotics which in the end the same said pain is still lingering.  More waiting for tests and more waiting for results.

I was excited as a newly formed art group was being hatched and unfortunate me, I’ve now missed two opportunities to join in as I lay on my bed or couch or even as I sat out in my special spot in the back yard, moaning, whining, and wishing I could be anywhere but where I was.

My Happy Spot

My Happy Spot

In the month of feeling uncomfortable and then downright ill for ten plus days has taught me a few things and maybe even more than a few.  I am still processing what I’ve learned.

I have a lot of things on the go, me being one of them and I didn’t enjoy being sidelined.

I have writing projects in piles that I wonder what I’ll do with in the end (finishing is a good idea) and now that my ren0’d sun room is done, AKA the art/writing room and table where the cat perches I have no reason to avoid being in there, working.

I say working, though there currently isn’t any pay attached to what I’m doing.  I just have a need to ‘do it.’

As a new member of InScribe Christian Writers’ Fellowship  I am attending a writing conference near the end of September in Edmonton and  I’m preparing for that.  I entered a contest.  Following the guidelines for submission, fighting with my inner critic who kept telling me all the reasons why I shouldn’t even bother, plus battling nausea and weakness from above health issues almost kept me from getting my little story sent off.

In the perseverance and determination to submit something, I’ve been reading  FellowScript InScribe Magazine and getting introduced to my new, as yet unmet friends in Inscribe via their writing, sharing their hearts and giving away their insight and knowledge.  It has helped me with the courage I needed to submit one itty-bitty-little story.

I currently write in two different journals each with its own focus.  One is called Your Ears Will Hear – A Journal for Listening to God by Steve and Evy Klassen along with other contributors.  (www.markcentre.org)

There is a short story on each page, with a question or two, a scripture reference and room for me to write my response.  I purchased this journal last year while attending a weekend away with the Prayer Team formed from Freedom Session of which I am a part of.  We pray for one another and during the mid to latter part of the nine month healing/discipleship/recovery program, am honored to pray as a smaller team of two or three women with others who request it.

My other journal is a mish-mash of thoughts, rants, prayers, potential stories, requests and worries.  It is on those pages I can pour out the jumble of words that need to be ‘said’.

All this reading, writing, pondering, praying and soon to be painting on canvas again takes time.

And what I’ve learned is this: I’m a ponderer-planner-procrasinator-organizer-avoider-then doer kind of individual.

A few months ago I posted a note to myself that I created on my desktop screen which says, “If only for today I do a little bit then for my tomorrows I will have done a lot.”

I like to be busy, but busy can be a cover up for hiding…hiding my words or hiding what may be a pull to listen to God’s leading. As this is a year determined by me to move forward  I’m paying attention to the inner call, to others wisdom and taking one step at a time.

It is fun, threatening, empowering and nerve wracking to take steps into the unknown.  I don’t like to make mistakes yet would be the first one to tell others to just try it, and so what if some mistakes are made – at least try.

What I’m wondering is, is this just the mind of creations in process, of constant percolating images and words swirling around and around until the mix is right and spills out onto a screen, a canvas or a piece of paper?

How do you other creatives out there process?

Whew, so many questions.  I’m going to go back outside to My Happy Spot and take a break.

 

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Filed under A Cat's Life, Art/Draw/Paint/Create, Faith Path, Life Lessons, Writer Writes